The Clothesline Project: "No more dirty laundry!"

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Event: The Clothesline Project "No more dirty laundry!"

ExhibitHost: http://www.kafa.org.lb/ & http://www.lsfm.net/

When: Monday, November 5 at 1:00pm

Where: West Hall, AUB

A Letter to Mr. Saniora from a Lebanese Citizen

Tamara Keblaoui's first visit to Nahr el Bared camp today has triggered her to write a letter to the Lebanese Prime Minister Mr. Sanyora. Tamara is a fourth year student at AUB, she studies business administration and she is a co-volunteers coordinator of Nahr el Bared Relief Campaign.


Dear Mr. Siniora,

I write to you as a Lebanese citizen with pressing concerns. Today, on the 27^th of October 2007 I, along with a group of ten AUB students, made the journey north to Nahr el Bared. We went there with the purpose of carrying out a clean-up campaign for the homes of returning refugees. What we found in these homes made our heads spin.

The houses we worked in were located in the so-called new camp. They were mostly villas with three or more bedrooms. Evidently, they were spaces that not so long ago housed large families. We found on the floors tiny Reebok shoes and dolls and toys. We found gardens and we found orange trees. But the little reebok shoes were torn and weathered, the dolls had disembodied heads and limbs, the gardens were not green and the orange trees did not bear oranges. We found mountains of rubble where there should have been refrigerators. We found harrowingly blank spaces, Mr. Siniora, where there should have been stoves, tables, beds and sofas. We found that the walls of the children rooms were covered with anti-Palestinian slurs and imprecations so vile that I cannot reproduce them on paper. When we were at the gates of the camp, we were told that cameras would not be allowed into the camp and we were searched scrupulously for them. I did not understand why this was at first, but now I do, because now I am feeling disillusioned and angry and I know that had the rest of the world seen the images that my peers and I saw today, the rest of the world would feel disillusioned and angry, too.

Mr. Siniora, I would like to know why it is that mass looting and mass vandalism has been allowed to take place under the nose of an army that the country has for the last four months uniformly rallied behind. I would like to know this because I was one of the millions who stood in Martyr’s square on the 14^th of March 2005 calling for a sovereign, democratic Lebanon. I was one of the millions who demanded democracy, and democracy as I know it means that all those that are under the rule of government be treated equally and fairly. What my peers and I have witnessed today defeats that very notion. The Palestinians of Nahr el Bared--that we who claim to be democratic have the responsibility to protect--have been stripped of their wealth and, more importantly, their dignity for something that they were never responsible for. And you, Mr. Siniora, were the first to say this. What happened to the Palestinian-Lebanese brotherhood that you championed in your letter to the Palestinian community on the first week of the Nahr El Bared impasse? What happened to democracy? I did not see any of it today and I am deeply disheartened. I am disheartened because I truly believed we would become a democracy on the 14^th of March, 2005 when a nation was supposed to have been born. But mostly I am disheartened because the beyond palpable oppression of the Palestinian community has been done in my name, as a Lebanese citizen.

Mr. Siniora, this is not an attack on the government or on the army. To me, the war in Nahr el Bared is a nebulous haze; its onset, its protracted ending and everything in between raises many questions in my head and I will not broach the topic. What I know is what I saw today and it has disturbed me beyond belief. Thus, I ask you to look into the current treatment of refugees and end the oppression. I ask that you bring to us the democracy that you have promised.

Sincerely,Tamara Keblaoui

Nation State Building and Patriotism

I have met many Lebanese, Syrians ,Palestinians and Muslims, whose nationalism and religiousness is merely about "defending" their countries and their religion. I love Syria hence I attack "any" criticism against it. The best Lebanese citizens I've met in Lebanon where the ones who were atypically un-Lebanese*. They did not take sides but rather question sides' approaches to Lebanese citizenship. Same with Syrian citizens, and with Muslims, in fact, I tend to believe that I have met one Muslim in my life, Baha' El Kayyali.

Being in a sexist society, I have brought up believing that in order for Razan the female to be human, she needs to shake some masculine given thoughts in her society. It is only normal to be attacked as an un-Syrian by Syrians when saying that sexual harassment is a serious issue in Syria, ass-grabbers are everywhere in Syria. A student came to visit Syria for two weeks have shared her story about ass grabbers. Another tourist, Daniel, is telling a story on a similar incident occurs regularly in Syria. I think those who have no pre-conceptions about what Syria is or what it should be, are the only ones who can really see what Syria is now.

In other words, the commonly discussed reasons why Syria is not progressing is that first, because of the historical occupation of Turkey and France, second, because of recent international and American pressure, and third because of the Syrian government. I think a fourth reason, if not the most affective reason, is the Syrian people themselves and their understanding of what Syria is, and what a citizenship is.

All reasons are intermingled of course, but I think if the Syrian system got a bit loose, Syrian people will be happy with economical and political changes, but not with social ones that have to do with women rights, Palestinians and Iraqi refugees' situations, homosexual lives among many other things.

Syrian females cannot openly speak about sexual harassment because it's not that simple to oppose a certain daily habit in any country. Sexual harassment in Syrian is becoming an "unquestioned" given, it is interesting to talk about it, but no strong support is given to the girls who wish to end the phenomenon. She's either to be considered a "slut" or "un-Syrian", among many defensive Syrians' patriotic labels.

When a girl say "I love you" to a man, he is in front of her and she is saying these words to him. Yet it is the "him inside her head" whom she loves, not necessarily the man standing in front of her.

With a country and our belongings to it, the process becomes rather complex. Each Syrian loves her Syria, and each fights or not, to maintain the Syria she sees or wants to see growing. I think most of our belonging to Syria is either fictionist if not imagined. For some, Syria lies in Syrian food, for others it lies in old cafes in Old Damascus. Some belongings to Syria lie in the longing for her. I think some belongings are "touristy" when it comes to Syria's traditional atmosphere.

Syrian becomes its "ornamentation".

I believe racism, sexism, sectarianism, human rights' abuse, are unconsciously celebrated in the Syrian daily life. Just like the Syrians are now the prime reason for everything wrong happens in Lebanon, the Iraqi refugees are the prime reason of everything wrong happens in Syria, if one caught AIDS, it's an Iraqi girl, if one cannot find a job, it's the Iraqis' fault, if a family are sleeping in the streets, it’s the Iraqis fault. Syrians now, and away from the regime's tyranny, are constructing the "Syrianism" within this binary opposition "Syrians/Iraqis", as a continuous process that started with the "Syrians/Lebanon". Syrians are formulating a belonging to Syrian in opposition to the "new comers" of Syria.

I am not here trying to unfold the current Syrianism in order to come up with another, I don’t like fixed entities, I like chaos, I trust chaotic identities. My Arabism is like no other Arabist, neither is my Syrianism. To be a Syrian is not a question to be answered or to look for, it shouldn't be there or obvious, it should be a repeatedly questioned question.

I think when we stop saying:

"انته واحد يهودي"

"هدول المثليين المقرفين"

"هاي البنت الشرموطة"

"هدول العراقيه والفلسطينيه النور"

"هدول النور ياللي من الريف"

"انا مسلم سني"

"نحنا المسيحية غير"

"انتي طالق" شفويا

We can then talk about building a nation state Syria, right now, there might be a shadow of one.

*I realize that by saying un-Lebanese then I am implying that there is a fixed "Lebanese character" in the first place, I think that sociopolitical history in a given country can produce somewhat similar consciousness within people.

جملة في مسلسل ترفيهي

البارحة كان آخر يوم أضيع وقتي بمشاهدة معظم المسلسلات السوريّة, وشدّدت على متابعة مسلسل "سقف العالم" لأنزور كون الأخير لا يكفّ عن إثارة دهشتي. فمن شاهدت مشهد المحكمة بين الجن والأنس والحيوان فهمت ما أعني, لم يقم أحد من قبل, بتاريخ البشرية جمعاء, بصنع مشهد كهذا, أو مسلسل كهذا. رغم أن بعض مشاهد المسلسل قد تكون مملّة للبعض, لكنه ككتاب, لن تعلمي ما تبغي الكاتبة حتى تنهي قراءة صفحاتها

البارحة وبينما كنت أشاهد مسلسل "باب الحارة", جنّ جنوني ولم أعد أريد متابعة المسلسل, ليس موقفاُ "شخصيّاً" البتّة, بل لعدم قدرتي على مغادرة الواقع السوري, حتى في مسلسل.

لا احد يقول لي أن المسلسلات السورية تعكس الواقع السوري, هذه ترهة من ترهاتنا

المسلسلات السورية مميزة لأسباب أخرى لها علاقة بنوعية تمثيل ممثلينا, بالإخراج الغير مصري, بالفانتازيا والكوميديا والدراما كذلك, لا لكونها تشبهنا, بل لكونها جذابة وتحاكي شيئا من واقعنا, لا تعكس فيه مواضيع ومشاكل تبقى عن المواطن السوري, والذكر السوري, غير ملموسة

ما حصل البارحة وباختصار هو أننا سمعنا "شيخنا" في باب الحارة يقول لأبو عباس الذي كان قد طلّق أم عباس لتوّه التالي

يا أبو عباس, لم الطلاق؟ فبمكانك أن تنهرهها, أن تضربها, لماذا تطلقها؟ لا تقلها ما حييت يا أبو عباس

ما الذي يقصده الشيخ القدوة بالضبط؟
لم هو غيّور على الزواج؟
لم لا يحبّذ الطلاق؟

الطلاق غير مستحبّ بالإسلام لكن الضرب لا مشكله؟؟
أي عقل هذا وأي تربية تلك وأي شيخ هذا؟؟ أنتكلم عن شيخ هنا فحسب؟؟

لا, نحن نتكلم عن شعوب تؤمن بضرب المرأة إن علا صوتها, إن جادلت رجلها, والدها أو أخوها, الضرب وسيلة من وسائل الحوار مع المرأة, تضربها فتفهم المرة المقبلة أن لا ترتكب الحماقة ذاتها, كدابّة

الشيخ يرى ان يحترم أبو عباس شرع الله وسنته في البعد عن المكروه, وهو الطلاق, إذن الشيخ لا يكترث للزواج بحد ذاته بل بما كرّه عنه الإسلام
الشيخ عندما كره الطلاق وحلل الضرب فضّل الإسلام على ام عباس, اي انه فضل القيمة على الإنسان

من المضحك أن نجد مسلسل نجدة أنزور يخاطب هذه القراءة عينها في الإسلام, نجدة انزور يخاطبنا نحن, الأولاد والبنات والأهل, هو يذكّرنا بما فعل الإسلام إذ أتى إلينا. أيّة ثورة كانت, وأي جهل أصبح بسببنا نحن المسلمون.

إن الأديان والفلسفات الدينية قد أتت بالأصل لتفضيل قيمة الإنسان على أي شيء آخر

نحن لسنا مسلمون, سأردد ما جعل أبو عباس يطلق أم عباس عندما قالت له: "فشرت"

فشرت يا شيخنا, نحن لسنا مسلمون, لا من قريب ولا من بعيد
نحن نسينا الإنسان في الإسلام

لن تصبح سورية, لن يصبح العرب ولا اسلامهم, حتى أصبح أنا الأنثى الإنسان

Twelve Months in Damascus

It took me a while to organize my habits and my life in Damascus. I continued to wear the "activist" template, I continued to be attached to the internet, going out meeting new people, till it hit me; I have only 12 months to stay in Syria, I have to make the best of it, and it has to do with my career.

It's 6:00 AM now, I woke up to begin applying my reading schedule. I am to write 100 pages for the next 12 months, and then I am heading to the US for my PhD. This year I am spending in Syria is going to decide which school I am going to go to in the US, good or bad; am I going to write a good dissertation? Good argument?

I am starting to feel worried, anxious, on a different level, on a selfish level. And I am starting to feel myself growing up. My life is starting to get serious.

I am preparing myself to take the GRE test next month, I am also going to start taking Hebrew courses for my PhD next month-I have decided that my specialty is going to be on Arab Jews' literature- and I am looking for a part time job.

I am professionally, happening.

One thing that worried/worries me about coming back to Syria is my parents. People tell me that yeah! It has been a while since you've been living on your own, it sucks when you're with family again. That implies that "not living three years alone" makes everything alright.

It has nothing to do with the three years I lived away from parents, or away from anybody's rules. It is not like things were fine, then I earned my autonomy that it is hard now to let go. Things weren't', aren't, won't be fine in any masculine family/society/system. The problem is not "me having three years of freedom", the problem is rather "not having freedom" in the first place.

So it's not "freedom" that makes things abnormal and hard for me, but rather "the lack of it" and it has always been this way.

In fact, these three years of "freedom" made me deal with the "lack of freedom" situation better; now when I hear a stupid thing, I say OK and go to my room, close the door behind me and all is gone. It can all disappear now, with closing the door, it didn’t before. Lebanon had made me step one step, the first step, to being a grown up woman.

Yesterday I thought of a slogan to launch a campaign against sexist men and patriarchal society:

من حقّي أن أخطئ

Which I might consider launch the thing if something bad happen.

Couple days ago I got back home after spending four hours in the national museum. Dad interrogated me about where and with whom I was..and I just looked at him..

Dad, in two months I am going to turn 27, I have lived in Lebanon alone for three years, don’t you wanna ask me about my experience there? What it made out of me?

Don’t you wanna get to know me dad?

Did you know, dad- and this is me talking to myself- that I wrote the first prose lines and I got the second poetry prize in Balamand University?

Did you know dad, that I have learned how to take photos and people ask me to use them?

Did you know dad, that I have made a lecture in front of 50/60 people?

You want to know the guy who was with me? that's it? no further questions? About me, perhaps?

"we're old friends dad, he's visiting Damascus. He works in Dubai".

Couple weeks ago, I learned that Itar Shame' are performing in Tiatro theatre, I went there, I saw them live, moving, I heard the voice that once came out of my recorder, I listened to the music, I looked at their faces, I am watching an awesome Syrian band singing live in front of me. Because of this real present moment, I never knew how proud I was for I am Syrian. I was proud of them.

They started at 9:00, my curfew ends at 10:30, which means I have to leave at 10.

I had to enjoy one hour of Syrian patriotic feeling.

Yeah, I miss Damascus, I miss "my" experiences with Damascus, My Damascus, I don't miss them, their stupidity, superficiality, simplicity, sexism, complexes, sickness, and I will never forgive them, they keep on making me retreating to closing the door. I don't want to close the door no more.

I can happen here as well, I want to happen here, I want here to happen, and I want to be part of its happening. It's silly for me, the Syrian, to happen not in Syria, which reminds me of Yazan father's words.

It is because of them, and because if "their" government, that I am not happen"ing". It won't be for too long though, I'm not that patient.

It occurred to me long time ago and I am recalling it again: that sexism, dictator Arab regimes and White West, have something in common: they have the power to marginalize others. We, the others wont happen, till we fight back.

One of the things I really like about dad, is that he appreciates education. "go and do whatever you want with your career, tistifli".

I am going to fight back, on all levels, when the time comes.

In Damascus, everything sounds familiar though I have changed, but my heart is still beating, I miss him, always, it hurts.

In Lebanon, my Syrianism is attacked, I blogged about it, now I feel my sexuality is attacked, I am going to be blogging about it.

Comments will be disabled from this blog. I am going to write addressing myself and honesty, rather than writing for a certain audience-in the back of my head.

I have chosen this blog title to decenter the "Damascus" among the Damascenes, among Syrians, I am interested in focusing about the invisible Syrians, the invisible Damascus, Iraqi refugees, Palestinian refugees, human rights' abuse, women abuse..etc.

This blog is going to be both personal, reporting and uncovering life conditions on some of the uncovered issues. Iraqi refugees, sexism and Syrians living around Damascus city, are my main concern at the moment. We'll see.

Twelve months in Syria, with him in my heart, I, the student, is starting to happen.