Tuesday, February 27, 2007

My Favorite Imagined City

This tag is very personal, maybe for those consider space as part of their existence. Though I have only stayed in Beirut for three years, my passion for Damascus grows and ripens every now and then. I apologize Sasa for taking my time responding to this tag, I tried to do earlier, but I haven't rest on the right words that speaks my heart.


"Imagined" for when I read a post for a Syrian blogger, or Abu Fares's , I imagine this:








The closer I am done with a course, I am closer to get back home, I imagine this:











When I am fed up with English, French and pardon me for saying this, when I am fed up with Arab dialects, I miss Syrian dialects, I miss Damascene, Homsi, Aleppo and Sweida'- haven't heard other walla- I imagine this:










When I "need" to imagine my home, I imagine this:












I live away from Old Damascus but I cannot imagine me without imagining her. I am blessed with verbal and visual articulation because of her.

Old Damascus has been my companion all my self-consciousness life, if I ever spoke of Syrian nationalism, I imagine Razan Zeitoneh and these images.
That's my favorite imagined city.

These photos are of an American tourist named Daniel Demeter, i am going to post an interview with him soon nshalla.

i tag Andre, Dureid, Ibn Bint Jbeil, Hamze, Eatbees, Lebanese NightS and Amr T.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Free Kareem Nabil Soliman

Posted by Abu Kareem

We, as a community of Syrian bloggers, condemn the arrest and sentencing of Egyptian blogger Abdel Kareem Nabil Soliman for the peaceful expression of his dissenting views. We ask the Egyptian government to reconsider its decision to arrest and prosecute Abdel Kareem. The stated reasons for their action include the preservation of the public peace and state security, and the prevention of incitement against Islam. We contend that his arrest will achieve neither. Silencing such dissenting voices as Abdel Kareem’s, serves only to strengthen the hands of extremists who will not shy away from violence to achieve their goals. Moreover, we remind the Egyptian government that his arrest and prosecution violates at least two articles (see below) of the 1948 United Nations universal declaration of human rights to which Egypt was a signatory.Relevant United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights articles:Article 18. Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.Article 19. Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.Such rights for freedom of expression are also enshrined in the 1990 Cairo Declaration on Human Rights in Islam and the 2003 Universal Declaration of Human Rights by the World's religion.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Black



I used to read you..
May your soul rest in peace.

Saturday, February 24, 2007

My Arabism

"Arabism" is a very complex term thus I am currently doing some research on it in order to unfold its controversy. Here in this post I am rather presenting a personal understanding of the term.

I have been self-conscious of my Arabism since I was 18 years old. Of course, that time I always refer to myself as a Palestinian because I was feeling ashamed of the Syrian people (common people) who do nothing in their daily lives and daily language to enhance their Arabism or their nationalism as a means to defy the present threat of Israeli cleansing politics and US imperial economical occupation, to say the least.

When I say: "I am an Arab" I am rather implying a political statement rather than a fascist belonging to a particular group and no other. Arabism is not exclusive to the Arab world, it is not a map, it is an ideology that counters the imperial threat of this region.

One myth about "Arabism" is that some believe that it implies Arabic language as a united factor of Arabs. And here I ask the question: are all Arab speakers are Arab? Do I have to be an Arab to be an Arab? What about the Kurds, Armenian and the Sharkas, they live with us since the Turkish occupation to the Arab World, they are part of Arab culture and the Arab civilization, furthermore, they are the contributors to the term "Arabism." hence, Arab DNA breaks down. Arabism is not exclusive on Arab people nor to Arabic language.

What about the Arab diaspora? Many Arabs who immigrated ceased to speak Arabic did they cease to be Arabs as well? So if any of them- James Zoghbi- felt attached and related to the Arab World matters, and he/she does not speak its language, why does she/he care??

Arab language might be "a" unifying factor of Arabs in some cases, but one cannot go on assume Arab language as one fixed element that contributed to the definition of "Arabism."

So my understanding to Arabism shakes off both DNA and Arabic language as unified factors to Arabs or as elements to defining Arabism.

Another thing I think it was historically true but I believe it is dangerous to go on adapting such factor as part of the definition of "Arabism" which is Islam:

Arabs are atheists, Jews, Christians, Muslims, agnostic, Buddhists…religion should not shape Arabism, Arabism is not religiously oriented, but rather, in my understanding to it, it is an ideology, a solution against the imperial neo-Zionism in the region. I did not say Israel, Israel can be non-Zionist and only then I can believe in it. Israel should reclaim the right of another people in order for us to believe in it. I am not against Israeli in itself; I am against that it is against Palestine. Arabism knows no enemy but injustice, Arabism implies self-recognizing and self-discovery at the same time.

I am not a Muslim, personally I think I am rather culturally Muslim but I am an Arab in the context of what have been stated.

So an Arab to me is not necessarily an Arab-speaker, not an Arab, or a Muslim, this would lead me to my complex next thought of Arabism:

Arabism is metaphysically uniting Arabs (Arabs within and without the Arab World)

What I mean is, Arabism lies within a self-conscious –or subconscious- consciousness.

Here let me raise a question, when Israel lunched a war on Lebanon, why did we see the people of Morocco, Tunisia, Libya, Syria, Palestine, Egypt, Sudan, relatively some Gulf countries considering the sensitivity of the Sunni/Shiaa issue, demonstrating for Lebanese people and its resistance against the aggression of Israel??

What trigger these countries to demonstrate?

Arab media? The propaganda of Arabism? humanism? Arab leaders?

I think it is Arab stereotypes of Arabism that encouraging people to demonstrate, which are becoming part of the Arab mentality- my Arabism exists on the demolishing of an Arab country. Another stereotype of Arabism is that it exists as a binary opposition: I am an Arab because I am not an Israeli, hence Israel to most Arab people is a single fixed body and treated as such as a infinite enemy. Such stereotype is unfortunately enhanced by Arab leaders –Assad- thus becoming an Arab propaganda. So the term "Arab street" which is becoming an assumption, is not "one" and also manipulated by the interests of the ruling regimes.

To get back on track, if there are such stereotypes that might prevent some to believe in Arabism as an identity, does "Arabism" necessarily wrong? I think here lies the core of my Arabism; if subconscious Arabism might let some stereotypes exist within Arabism, am I saying that Arabism lies within self-conscious people?

Yes I am, Arabism lies within the conflict of believing in Arabism -metaphysically-this leads me to Sartreane existentialism "my self seeks existence which is nothingness, yet as it seeks it exists" nothingness is existence, as Sartre believes, yet, a human seeks her/his existence-though it is nothingness. Nevertheless, as she/he seeks her existence, the process of seeking existence is in itself meaningful. I can only exist in the process of me seeking existence even if I am doomed to nothingness.

An Arab is that who is self-conscious of Arabism and thus her very belief in Arabism is in itself Arabism. The process of believing in Arabism becomes Arabism and here is what I mean by metaphysical Arabism.

Self-conscious Arab is not of course that who simply believes that he is an Arab just because he is born one, nor those who define themselves as Arabs just because Qura'an is written in Arabic, Arabism lies within self-discovery.

My Arabism is not static, nor fixed. My Arabism is an ongoing process of self-questioning, self-recognizing and thus self-discovery. of course, this might happen on a personal manner and on a universal manner as well, but what it is different about it here is that people like Nasri Sayegh (Lebanese) Azmi Bishara (Palestinian) Haitham Manna' (Syria) Tayeb Saleh (Sudan) (Egypt) among many more..though do not share the sameness of history, religion and culture, they do define themselves as Arabs because they feel it is a "solution" to their existential, political, economical and thus personal lives.

I realize that this post imply some academic flaws, but needed to give an introductory to myself and others about how I see Arabism. I am doing some readings on the subject, it will take some time, but nshalla I'll rest on some conclusions.

Salam from Damascus

Friday, February 16, 2007

مبارح

طلعت من المكتبه لاشرب قهوه ودخنلي سيجاره
كانت الساعه شي تسعه ونص بالليل
عم تفضى الجامعه
لانو كانت بيروت عم تشتي

وقفت جنب نفاضة سيجاره معلقه على الحيط
وقعدت اطلع على هالبشر

شفت زلمه عم يجر كرسي فيو زلمه
وشفت الزلمه بالكرسي ماسك شمسيه
ليبعد الشتي عن الزلمه ياللي عم يجر الكرسي

والناس رايحه وجايه


(Just for you sweet Karin)

Last Night

I left the library for a cigarette
It was 9:30 PM
And the campus is getting emptier
Beirut was raining

I took a spot near a walled ashtray
Watching the crowd

There was a man
Pushing a wheeled man chair

The wheeled man
Was carrying an umbrella
To keep the rain
Off
That man

And the campus is getting emptier

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Valentino

Take care of yourself

Cause as we speak

Me

Gonna

Love

Me

Instead.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Reviving Arabism, in Beirut??











Yep, in Beirut..Ta' Marbouta (تاء مربوطة) is a new cafe-restaurant and bar opened in Hamra.

It's owners are both Lebanese and Palestinian. both are leftsists who where both living in the US, decided to grow old in Lebanon after the war on Lebanon (many did so).

This cafe is becoming my second favorite place after Barometre in Beirut.

The waiters are nice, strangely, are all in love.

Why is it reviving Arabism? well check the feminine "ta'" dude, shu mishan??

and most importantly, it BOYCOTTS American products IN BEIRUT..this is THE revolution, THE independence, THE truth, people!! Listen Assad, listen Najad!! listen Syrian opposition(some) and you 14th. and 8.th March!!

ya3ni if you asked for Pepsi, Nescafe or these products, they'll say: "sorry, we boycott American products!!" with a BIG smile :)

in Ta' Marbouta, everything is local, everything is non-universal. It is so Damn Lebanese..so damn Arab, so damn us.

Oh, and the owners keep palying my dearest Lina Chamamyan, Sabah Fakhri (your favorite Abu Fares) and Asala (tidrab)..

Beirut, i'll never get you..

Picture of the Day


Free Palestine, originally uploaded by izzi_zz.

Picture taken by beautiful Izzi..i'm ready to go to the library now..

Monday, February 12, 2007

We "Clicked" Alright I

I met a guy, a week ago..he's Lebanese..and a fellow blogger..
I was amazed by his blog, by his mind..his spontaneous character, his humbleness..his all..
I was also having online dates, with a Syrian fellow blogger..
I thought that a physical relationship is healthier than a virtual one..so I encouraged the former..

M ( the Lebanese guy) sounded strange, he called me "hon, babe, most beautiful, my amazing girl, you were on my mind always, we gonna last, you, we, I..."

He made me feel special..

He never stopped hugging me..kissing me..he said "my love"..

I enjoyed the moment, but I told him : "dear, aren't you feeling that there is something wrong around here?"

He said: "naaa, we clicked right away…!"…

I didn't buy it, I told him: "dear, we're sick..we're unhealthy..we need to rearrange things…"

He said: "naaa…we clicked right away!"

Last night, I invited him to my place,
I held his hand
I touched his soft tall hair
I told him:"M, did we really click?"

This morning..M told me it's over, why? Because he thought we didn't "click"..he thought we were sick..he thought we weren't healthy..he thought we should be friends..

It hurts cause its easy to read books, whilst is difficult to read one's self.

It hurts that I know him better than he knows his self.

It hurts cause you already knew, yet you were punished.

It hurts cause he's selfish, not ready to recognize his sickness, earlier.

It hurts cause I gave him he power, where I shouldn't have.

It hurts cause this supposed to be "real"..since it's not virtual..

It hurts, cause he said : "Razan, you were right, we didn't click!"

I Sit III

Right in your place
Near the wide windows
Near the breeze
And the bruise

I've just smoked a Gitanes cigarette
I smelled my breath
I smelled your lips

I was reading Hammad, again
I was reading her poems, her Palestine
How can a Palestinian hurt me?
Are you a Palestinian, M?

How can you, when you're a communist?

Silly me

How come a smell, a touch, a kiss, be so virtual?

Should I boycott Gitanes now too?
For love?

I sit
In the AUB campus
I read Phalasteen
I see us

I see you dragging me out of the crowd
For a kiss

I see you holding my hand
Looking to nowhere
Talking about it all

When am I gonna stop waiting for you
Stepping down these four damn steps?

I remember
The first time you rest your eyes on me
I knew you
Before I met you
I knew you hair
Those glasses

You stood still
Got rid of your friend
Bought me an American coffee
I should have remained silence
You should have read my rights
My right, to protect me

M
You’re my first 2007 mistake
You're my precious mistake
My sacred sin

Soon now
When am done with here, now
Damascus will compensate your selfishness
And I shall start again

Life
You ain't gonna hurt me again
Cause I am immortal
I am an other soul
"The earth beneath my feat
I shall find my way home."

Goodbye…Lenin II

I was hesitant to write this, out of hurt, and our of what they tend to call "dignity"..
Well, I am a grown up, I guess, and I am old enough to deal with the blues, your blues.

It's 12:40 Beirut, sitting in a second favorite place, a leftist place..listening to Oud, in front of me there is a couple hugging and kissing each other, they should go on and do something else as they happen to be the waiters, bas enno 7elo..w mosh 7elo..

This is my second glass of wine, and I won't ask for the third, we didn't have our third glass last Saturday M, do you remember?

You asked for a bottle, we were hugging each other, like these very two, you were whispering in my ear: "huggable you!"

You, I and we..were did we go wrong? Was I too hot for you?? Is that why you're gone??

I was in the library this noon, I sat on my usual desk, in font of that desperate window..that tree..

I used to read, I used read letters, I always wait for your steps, the child-like sound of your steps…to feel you hands on my cheeks, your arms around my shoulders: "kifik ya 7elwe?"..

Today, I heard the steps are getting closer as I am reading other letters, they weren't your steps M, but my heart beat is still the same..

I don't love you, I am not sure if I even like you anymore.. now that you've giving it all away, for I have a "cute butt"..

I just miss you..

I miss the way you walk, rising up your head, not minding your hair covering your face..

I miss your on-going speech on politics..

I miss your eyes M, those glasses, you damn laptop, your mother, your fucked up girlfriend..i miss my life before-you..

But you know what I miss the most? I miss your claims, your sweet fake words, your gentle hugs, your licky kisses, your voice..i miss all the lies about you..

I ain't gonna let you back no more..

I cannot lose you, when you were never true..



Good bye M, it was nice, not knowing you.

Does Fairous have to sing right now??

P.S. the reason why I am real and why you're not, is that I have a contingence reason, for all this.

Today's Top Post

If not this month's..

Right of Return Ring of Blogs 2-11-2007

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Musical Resistance






Thanks NightS for letting me know of such amazing people, inspiring music, and for helping me out technically.

Palestinian Band for Lebanon, Checkpoint 303


powered by ODEO

Audio description by its composers:

Needle stuck on Lebanon

Although it really seems like one, the ongoing israeli attack on Lebanon is not a mere déjà vu. Once again, lebanese citizens are under israeli fire. israeli bombings in southern, eastern, western and nothern Lebanon. once again. just like the sound of an old record, the needle is stuck on Lebanon. this checkpoint 303 track mixes recordings we made from radio, tv & internet news broadcasts by BBC, TG1 & TG3 (italian RAI), TV7 (tunisian news broadcast), Voice of Lebanon (VDL), ARTE (french news edition) and FOX (no comment). Checkpoint 303.

Friday, February 09, 2007

My Son's Fixed Eyes

By Ashraf:



I was studying in the library last night, and i received a SMS from my Palestinian friend living with his wife in Camp in the South..I left my books, the library and rushed to a nearest phone on the street, called him twice, didn't answer..got back to the library, to an ordinary day..till i received this email few minutes ago:

لم أجد أنسب من هذه الصورة لكي يستطيع طفلي من أن يركز نظره جيدا، هؤلاء القادة الثلاثة العمالقة يحجون حول الكعبة ويدورون فلا مانع من أن يراقبهم طفلي بحذر وهم يجولون حول الكعبة المقدسة، ويدعون الله أن يخرجوا بإتفاق ينقذوا به هذا الشعب المسكين من الأزمة الحاقنة التي يمر بها.

الساعة الثالثة أنتظر سماع صراخ طفلي، وإذ إسمع صراخ طفلي على نبأ عاجل يقول حماس وفتح اتفقوا لم أعد اركز جيدا أأفرح لولادة طفلي أم أفرح لولادة شعب جديد؟؟ كل هذه الإسئلة دارت في ذهني ولكني ركضت مسرعا نحو غرفة الإطفال وقبلت إبني لإني أعلم أن ما يصنعه الأطفال أكبار مما يصنعة الكبار.

أرجو أن لا يدوم تركيز ابني لنظره فترة طويلة وأرجو أن يتوقفوا، وإلا اذا بقيوا مستمرين بالدوران كارثة .

My Translation -pathetic i know

haven't found better picture than this one for my son to focus his eyes on..

it is worthwhile for my child to watch carefully as these three giant leaders are doing their pilgrimages around the holly Kaa'ba. My son's eyes are praying for God for them to reach at an agreement saving a whole people, a poor people from the current dilemma it's going through.

It's three o'clock, waiting to hear my baby's yell, only I heard him yelling at an urgent news saying that Hamas and PLO have reached to an agreement, I wasn't fully focused on the news, to whom shall I get happy for? for my newborn son or my newborn people? All these question pumped into my head, I found myself rushing to my the babies' room knowing that miracles done by children are larger than those are done by grown ups.

I hope my son's wouldn't hold his eyes focused on them for a long time, and I hope that these leaders stop wondering, for it's a disaster if they keep on wondering, on the same cycle.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

U.S. Department of State Watching Sabbah’s Blog!

Posted by Amira Al Hussaini

Palestinian blogger Haitham Sabbah engages in a tongue in cheek tirade with the US State Department, after accusing the US of commiting acts of terrorism in Iraq.

Adonis' Reading of Arab World

Posted by a Lebanese blogger Bliss St. Blues

Watch Adonis' here..

Dancing With Hezbolla, Dancing With Hamass

I dedicate this post to what people like Beaman call a "myth"; to the people that made my night as such, to you, Palestinians.

This is an emotional response, cause the below claim is not worth of an academic response:

Ariel Sharon: Israeli Prime Minister from 2001 to 2006. Why a hero of mine?: He fought for his country, Israel, a widely misrepresented nation that numerous times fought for its very existence. He did so with heroism even in the face of personal suffering. A man who fought for his people against harbourers of religious hate, fanaticism and a culture of death, that of the so called 'Palestinians'. A mythical people indeed.

It is 04:54 AM in Beirut right now, and I have just got back from not a Saturday night, nor from a wonderful night, but rather from a night, in which, I was.

I was meeting up a fellow Lebanese blogger, whom I had a crush on..it has been a long time since I put mascara on, or even wore a high heels, I fixed up myself for this guy.

I saw him, we drank wine, we laughed, we talked politics, we shared, but we weren't.

I received a SMS from my Palestinian friends, whom are the source of my survival in Lebanon, I recall Ashraf's face as I present my presentations. I recall the Palestinian smile.

The Lebanese guy joined me and the Palestinians and we mingled right away, the three countries together.

the Lebanese left us, I took my Palestinian friends to Salim's (Syrian works in a restaurant).

And there, I began.



This guy has lost his leg BEFORE the Israeli aggression on Lebanon. He lost it due to American-made Israeli cluster bombs.








I wonder, how can "myth" demolishes pain?

How can "myth"'s soul be contagious?

How can "myth" rewrite my day? My smile, my sway?

They danced, in Beirut, in Hamra we sang for Palestine, for Haniyah for Nassralla, for a local dance, for a particular dance.

We hit the floor, we held each others' hands, singing: "بعد عيونك يا علي"

I danced with Hezbolla tonight, I danced with Hamass, till I saw dawn.

Our sweat mingled with our shots, we drank them.






There was an adorable Tunisian guy who kept flashing Nassralla's picture with his lighter.







We were sexless.

We weren't Sunni, Shiaa.

Nor Palestinian, nor Syrian.

I was born Arab, I was born Palestinian.

To you "myth", to Palestine, I'll dance you, for real.