Did you know that i used to hate Dawwar Shamali micro bus because i have to expect a hand on my butt?
Did you know that i get ready to sexual harassment as i shot the door?
Did you know that i’ve seen naked guys on my way to school?
Did you know when was the last time I saw guy masterbating infront me as I am taking a taxi? Last month
Did you know that I take taxis to save my butt?
Did you know that dad bought us a car for protection not for transportation?
Did you know that I've seen a 20 CM guy thing in a micro bus?
Did you know that i asked the chauffeur to throw him out?
Did you know that he threw me out instead?
Did you know that i never shut up to sexual harassments?
Did you know that i am blamed for not shutting up?
Did you know that i have certain cloths for certain areas in Syria?
just to avoid "more" harassments?
Did you know that every single part of my body has been touched against my will?
Did you know that last year in Jesr el Ra2is, a soldier touched my thing, and i kept on hitting him?
Did you know that he got four kids?
Did you know that i jailed him for six months?
Did you know that i did it for my country?
Did you know that i am paranoid?
Did you know that i always look who's following me?
Did you know that i 2in2az whenever someone or something touched my back?
Did you know that i cannot walk alone?
Did you know that my mom cannot walk alone?
Did you know that we still walk alone?
Did you know that guys harass western girls because they think that White is superior?
Did you know that guys harrass Syrian girls because they think Syrian girls are inferior?
Did you know that i am not a feminist?
Did you know that i am not normal?
Did you know that i used to be normal?
Did you know that you (men) have no idea what i am talking about?
Did you know that you are not allowed to preach me?
Did you know that this is just a post?
Did you know it's a beautiful day?
Did you know that i am going to tour Tripoli today?
Did you know that i miss home?
And am coming back home.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Did You Know?
Posted by Golaniya at 13:44
Labels: Arab Sexism, Personals
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80 comments:
oh my Good God
i feel terribly sorry for what you have been through
i know ladies are not being respected enough around the world, especially when it comes to harresment stuff,
being feminist is the right reaction for that :), but on the other hand it's the psychology of men and women ,
i mean unlike women, lots of men love to be haressed around , which is pretty confusing :P
anyways, i'm sorry for hearing all of that , wishing you a less eventful life when it comes to being sexually haressed
With all do respect Gray Fox, girls like to hear words like “sub7an el khale2”, “masha2allah” or “wli 3ala 2amti”!!
These are not sexual harassments, these are street flattering, so I was talking about those who touch us and use bad language!
There is not a single women I know who loved to be touch against her will!!?
Besides, I think this idea that girls like it, is very masculine, and a cliché of masculine society! You know better ;-)
damn and i thought i'm the only one who always looks who's following me!!!!!
taxi?! i got it off my list because i got harrassed there too...
reading this brought back memories...as if i'm reading my own diary :S
Yeah?? i was never ever harassed in Lebanon, well except in micro buses as well in my way to Tripoli!
Actually, i always go out late at night in Beirut because i cannot do so in Syria! Nobody bothers me, they look, but they never touch!
i also go walking from Monot St. to my room in Sioufi, @ 3 or 4 AM, still, nobody bothers me!
i cannot live like that in Syria, and am not complaining on my style of life, just I’d like people not to touch me!!!!!
with all due respect to You too Sham
i didnt say that i'm a saint, but a compliment to a lady can be passed with a cute smile or a head nod from me :P , without using a bad language
but if you read my comment again, my point was about the difference in psychology between men and women
for example , if a woman hits on a man ,ppl say he rocks, and if a man hits on a woman , ppl say he is a pig
what i mean that both cases , it's all about him , and that is wrong :)
so if you please read my first comment again,
i said that sometimes men are being sexually haressed, but they mostly dont mind , cuz they are MEN , and unfortunately we consider this a score :D
once again, in other words, men dont mind being touched against their will mostly , unlike women :P
that's what i meant wallahi , why did you get it that i said enno some women like being touched against their will :'( boohoo
One thing that I don't miss being away from Syria... I remember returning home one night from Uni here in London at 3:30am and feeling safe, and I remember once I returned home from Uni in Damascus and a guy sitting opposite me started masturbating then followed me home at 4pm!
oh my god....oh my god....oh my god...what all that?what is this life?i can't believe that we may face things in egypt but not like that and not that much now i feel so lucky and my life is just like heaven...oh my poor friend
and i'm happy coz u'll back to your home....happy journy and try to forget the bad memories :)
some one
Is it really this frequent? Is this really what Syria has become?
sham, you have just described the life of every woman living in Syria (and that's not supposed to be comforting in any way).
I can guarantee you that we all had our share of sexual harassment, from bad words, to twisted jerks on public transportation, to touching and pinching in the streets. But most of us (including me) remain silent, and never fight back.
For me, the most disturbing fact, is that I feel so small, weak and disgusted by my self, every time I'm subject to that kind of harassment, even though I'm the victim here. And I believe I'm not the only one who does.
I am kind of know all that, but I do not know what is the solution for all that mess. should we jail or should we teach?
Sad to say, this is the kind of world we live in. Humans are just intelligent animals, and some haven't learned to control their instincts.
Some would say, this is why women need to be sheltered, protected, not leave the home. But statistics show that 1/3 or more of harassments happen in the home! So the problem isn't women with too much freedom, it is men who have no discipline, no self-respect.
You compare Lebanon and Syria, and you say that in the more conservative society there is more harassment of women. This doesn't surprise me, because men who grow up in a society where women have more freedom, must learn more intelligent approaches to women. The problem is for the whole society to solve, and the first step is to bring it into the open as you are doing.
Sadly, the men who most need to hear what you are saying, are the ones least likely to hear it.
look the taxi thing was here in Lebanon, i was harassed several times in the Saida-Beirut buses but never in the streets...but I would hear from them what they want to do...or they just look as you said..
the actual physical harassment in the streets I got was in Egypt not here..talking about a bunch of -i don't know what to call them- animals not just one at a time...sometimes they're even kids!!!
ooops!! your right Gray Fox! apologies! i just made a fool of myself and carried my anger back at ya!!
my sincere apology, and mara7 3ida ;-)
Again, apologies for GraY FoX for not reading thoroughly your comment, i feel bad :'(
Thank you all for your comments,
Syrian in London, the bastard!! Lots think that stokers make their move at night, but the guy whom I jailed, he did his thing 12:00 noon!! In front of people!! They know no one cares, and they know we'd do nothing!!
Diala, I am not sure if Egypt doesn't have these things, I've read novels and seen movies (Yacoubian Building) who talked about serious sexual harassments in the streets and at jobs! But I think in certain areas, in public ones maybe.
Wassim, I am sharing a 11 years long experience ( the time I spent in Syria so far) and I must say, it is getting uglier!!
Rime, I understand you totally!! We are taught in our societies for centuries to shut up! We are told by the government for decades to shut up!! We are told by the dearest to our hearts (families) to shut up!! I've been there, I know, but I just won't!! am gonna live once, so let this once be as affective as it can be!!
Jan, well jail is a good start, this is a crime that needs to be punished!!!
Eatbees, interesting what you said about the cultural difference between Lebanon and Syria, you're quite right!!
Though I think the problem lies in men who think they "can get away with it" because society is on their side!!
Imagine that when I fight back I hear complaints from other men who saw the whole scene, so it is my fault for defending myself?!!
That's why girls should TALK SHOUT AND HIT them back!! Any reaction would scare them and learn to think TWICE before doing their disgusting thing!!
About the home abuse as well, I think it is more sad when it comes to this crime, it is rape!! I think this street harassments needs to be stopped by legislating a law!! I need to consider this.
Nights, yeah I thought so, exactly!! In micro buses all the time, I was never harassed in a taxi, never on the street!
As for Egypt, well Dalia is from Egypt, and she might wanna hear this ;-)
her comment surprised me actually!!!
i lived there for 13 years :)
you know what happened there bel 3eed mahek in Cairo downtown?? i'm sure she knew about it!!!
it happens anywhere where the woman is the one to blame all the time...and that she got it to herself (and deserved it?!) according to how she dressed,walked,talked,looked or simply did anything!!!
Iam very sad for what happend to you over the years ..its really a shame ..
and its happened all the time..
no women or girl should be silence
when some monster try to do anything bad to her ..
I remember once.. its happened with my sister in the bus ..he but his hand or touch her ..and she immediately slap him in the face and she start to curse him and make a scene..he jump from bus and runaway ..and by the way my sis wear a long coat and hejab ..
this should be the attitude ..
i have many sisters and i always tell them to do what ever they can do from hiting and shouting ..kicking.. anything to defend their self and not be the prey ..
dont let them win ..make them pay
I remember when I used to walk around Damascus with my cousin, she would often be verbally harassed, or whistled at, etc. I don't ever remember anything physical happening, though I remember her being worried about that happening so she would always want me or her brother to walk with her. I can't believe it's so widespread... I never witnessed this before, and yet when I was reading the reports of this happening in Syria, and also there was a case in Egypt last year, I was horrified!
Nights, I understand completely and it sounds more sense; Egyptian society is as conservative as the Syrian, I found what Eastbees said about such societies interesting.
I do not know what happened in Egypt am afraid!!?
You know, when we say conservative we don't mean "poor" people, I've been to the South and never been harassed over their too!! As the matter of fact, guys in Ashrafieh harass (flatter) far more than Hamra..in Tripoli I got annoyed with people too..i think in Tripoli things are worse than Beirut.
Wasn't Eve blamed for making Adam eat the damned apple?? Shu howeh ma 3andu 3a2l ya3ni??
So now we are all Eve, seducing men by being ourselves, and we should except it and shut up!! Aaaaah, merci, bas gheir marra!!!!! :D
Lord, tell your sister that she ROCKS!!!! I'm glad that she slapped that B!!!
I think we all should be your sister!! I am not that brave! I should be walla!
You're doing a great job supporting your family, you rock too man ;-)
Yaman, yeah well, girls come home mention not a word, usually. And because they are taught not to defend their rights at home, they are abandoning their rights outside!! Part of many people not knowing that it is THIS serious is because of girls themselves!!
It is widespread, and it is getting worse now that life in Syria is getting more expensive and more anxious.
Though that all women are harassed, but the larger number is I think those who are unveiled, do you know that they are becoming a minority in Damascus, Homs, Hama? Am not familiar with the other cities.
My reading to this is the following: after Hariri was killed and Syria is internationally isolated, Bush threats to bomb Syria, Israel threats to bomb Syria and Lebanese on their TV shows swears at "Syria" mixing up with "Assad"! all these made the Syrian people feel that God is their savior, so let’s all go to God!
One thing that flows with this religious escape is that girls whom are not veiled would suggest even MORE than ever, that "oh she's not religious so she's a bitch"!
I've also heard more than once that there were extremists who were stabbing unveiled women in the street, not sure if it is true though.
I wish your cousin doesn't experience that worse of it.
it was a disaster that day
read this
you can say that it was a harassment rally, if you watch the videos you'll find that the police were there and simply did nothing...so as long as there's no proper punishment (to me it starts with hanging them from the balls) it won't stop!!!!
ma3ek 7a2 bel south mafi hek belmarra(at least to me)...i even found men there in general gentle...
w y7ello 3anna ba2a b 2osset Eve, they can't live without her...Adam gave up a rib to have her...and I'm sure if Eve came first, makan ye7lam ysharref Adam 3la hal denye :P :D so yesekto ba2a :D
Excellent post Sham! You describe exactly what all women go through everywhere in the Middle East. And then they have the hypocrisy to say they are 'good' muslims and it is the west that is decadent- I've NEVER had anything like that happen to me ANYWHERE in Europe!
You are a wonderful person, never doubt that!!!!
NightS, WTF is that??? I saw the clip of an Egyptian show, the broadcaster is a bitch for not blaming the government but blaming "society"!
And that article! Kabt jinsi?? Kabt jinsi 2eh w akl khara 2eh?? I am so going to post about this!!
The bastards!! I am SO angry!! I really should reconsider my future position!!
Thank you for the link, dear.
Arima, thank you, I know what you mean, if there is anything like this happen in the west, it is rape! And rape is considered as a crime and punished for it! But what about this?? Isn't a crime as well??
MFL, thank you for your support:-)
OH MY GOD...i can't believe it!!! 20 CM?????? :p
Yeah the sexual harrassment is pretty serious in Syria...but it's listed under "talteesh" and the publish transportation is the best habitat. Perverts are everywhere. I remember one time I was in like grade 7 or 8. I wasn't allowed to use public transportation, the green buses at that time. One time I wanted to go somewhere without telling my parent so I took the buy, on board, an old guy started pressing against me. It was freaking crowded buy, so his glasses hit mine...and then he said, lets see how it feels to have other parts touching together. I pushed him and left the bus, walked home and never said the story to anyone. That happened not just because I was cute little kid ( ;P ) but because that fucking guy is a pervert and he would do the same or more whenever he gets the chance.
Two more points I want to mention Razan. Guys harrass westren girls not because they are superior...cuz they are not...but because those guys think they are easy to get. The concept that many have in our society about the westreners is that they would say Hi and in the next scene, they will be fucking!
In addition, guys don't harass Syrian girls because they they think they are inferior...but simply put, because the majority of Syrian girls would rather keep silent rather than making a scene, unlike you Razan, many if not most, would rather keep going in their way after being sexually harrased just becasue of the weird society that we live in (kelo ela lfdee7a). If all girls would stand up for whoever harass them. Things would be different. Those "guys" are fucking cowards, they do it knowing that girls are scared by nature!
Anyway, I still can't believe it!!! 20 CM???? laish ya rabi! :D
Ihsan, you are funny :-)
Harassing kids mostly leads to rape, which is a crime in the eyes of the law! And such incidents happen, but on a narrower level.
I am not comparing nor undermining, but the issue with street girls' harassing is that it is "ok" and on a daily bases. It is never ok with kids!! Not even once!! You see what I mean?
So we are talking about a social "tradition" not a "crime"!
And as for Syrian/western girls, here's my theory:
Guys saw a foreigner, she's exotic and all, they know she's not a virgin, yet they also know she is impossible to get! Why impossible? Because they see themselves inferior to foreign girls? Which make the foreigner superior, as a result. So the harassment is motivated by the fact that "oh, I cannot have her though she's a bitch"!
With Syrian girls it is quite the opposite, guys see her, strong possibility she's a virgin, impossible to get for society, but society favors him more than her, so it's ok to do whatever! Cause he's the man! And you never blame a man's needs! And she supposed to be the "female" with the low voice!
That explains why I've been shout at by men on the street when I make a scene; a guy is superior to Syrian women. Women are not allowed to defend themselves because they are inferior! Actually, fdee7a suggests inferior sex who lose the honor, and a superior sex that reclaims that honor!!
Oh and a tip from a girl, it's never about the size;-)
I'm really offended, and yet what I'm a bout to say is a bit aggrasive so u can just stop here and move on to the next comment. its either than u have some sort of phobia, and u need to seek help. or that u live among a bunch of animals, in boths cases u can NOT be talking about syria..well not damascus at least..and i find this article very offensive, especially when its being writen in english...the problem is that people take these sorta post and publish it all over the net, as a representation of a syrian case, pronounced by a syrian...the bottom line is: u have all rights in expressing ur feels and fears but u dont have the right to TAG SYRIANS with such behaviour.
P.s., the funniest comment ive read is about the "syrian in london" who against all proven facts and logic feel safer to walk in london at 3:00 am but in damascus at 4:00 pm, how very interesting this is...do u really live in the uk?
Sham allow me to add one more fact to the uproariously funny comment of Ihsan:
Do you know that 99% of your male readers felt inferior at the reference of the 20 cm thing?
;)
Sham
You have obviously touched a raw nerve here.
I've always thought that there are certain parts of town where it's not safe for women to walk alone. But it's my understanding that nowehere is safe anymore.
I make note that it's not as bad as that in Tartous. I think mixed schools have made a contribution in reducing street level sexual harrasement (remember Tartous has no separate schools for boys and girls since over 25 years - not a single one). So despite all arguments for and against, early exposure to the opposite sex (well in our case, early exposure to girls on a peer to peer level certainly has a sedative effect on bad manners.
Like learning that one should shower everyday, it has to start early on in childhood.
Roudy, dude, rude, whatever they call you, listen 7abibi:
It's ok if you think I need help, cause you made me sick.
It's ok if you call people like "you" animals, cause you might be right.
It's ok to be such an ass and make a foul of yourself.
But you know what's not ok?
To lessen my Syrianism when am trying to add some!
You just made yourself Unwelcome to my blog!!
I dont think syrian girls are inferior! all girls are inferior lol.
That was a pure Egyptian joke dont try to get any meanings out of it, otherwise i would change my mind and start to think that syrian girls are inferior lol...........
Seriously speaking sham, i used to think that sexual harrassment in Syria is less than Egypt!
DJ, lol
walla guys need to stop being obsessed about the size :-)
Abu Fares, interesting, I never knew this about Tartous schools, well I must say here, that I never been harassed in Latakia, though I wear short pans and a showy sweater there.
I think the cities by the sea are different socially speaking; women are part of the street life, it is not a "seductive" scene as in the inside cities, I think. Not mentioning the touristic appeal to these cities.
Am really thrilled to know about the schools, some Syrian kids have a healthy childhood!!
Well Amre, I know how is it like in Syria, and I also know one think, I've seen the and read about that incidents in Egypt where girls were being almost rapped in PUBLIC!! I KNOW, this is not even possible in Syria. I am not trying to make an Arab country better than another, but I DO think that sexual harassment is less in Syrian than in Egypt. Way too less!!!
Sexual harrasement in Egypt is a social problem: un-balanced development leading to huge immigrations from the country side to cairo and Alexandria where they are to be marginalised and crushed. They take out their anger from those fantacy Parisian arrogant girls who treat them like slaves while they drive sport cars around cairo, on your whole gender. Neverthless, any woman in Egypt who has a rural outlook and accent is seldom harrassed.
paradoxicaly, in upper-Egypt the most conservative, underdeveloped and poor part of the country, sexual harrasement doesnt exist! If a modernised woman from a big city walks in the streets of sohag and assyout people will treat like honoured guest!! most probably it is because people are wasting all their money and energies on machined guns and blood revenge!!!!!!!!
Ok we need to draw some lines in here. We all have seen the public and group harrasment in Cairo few months ago....that never happens in Syria...What happens happens on a discreet level and not in public places because if a guy is caught doing such a thing...he is fucked up by whoever is passing by at that moment, including people who would do what he did when they get the chance.
I one time...and here is another story..from 3amo Ihsan...I was in Damascus International Fair, years ago..like 15 or so, it was friggin crowded as usual and people are pushing each other to watch a blender or a coffee machine, I saw a young man sneaking calmly among the crowds, went toward a large-figured woman.. and he gave her the finger in her butt and dissapeared again in the crowds . She was paniced and that was apparent on her face but she simply pretended nothing had happened. ino why I didn't do anything! I was as shocked as she was!
While I know there are perverts EVERYwhere in the world, but I still know that things in Syria are not as bad as in Egypt or Saudi Arabia.
Sham, those guys when they go and try to hit on a "white" girl in that manner, they know for sure they won't get her, not because they feel inferior..but because that way of hitting on girls gets nobody laid..NEVER...yet, they do it, because it gives them a good material to either talk about to their peers...or jerk off while thinking about it...not to forget the language barrier thingy.
As for the Syrian girls...believe me and I have seen that many times...in the streets of Damascus, if a girl screams at a guy who is harrasing her, everybody in there will side with her and beats the shit out of him.
Last summer I was going to Homs, I was in the bus, a guy aparently was trying to take a photo of a girl sitting in the seat in front of him...in a second a guy in the back saw him and he slaped him on the back of his head, not only that, he talked to the driver and when we reached Homs, there was two policemen waiting for that guy!
Aren't we famous for nakhweh fikri!
Ihsan, one time me and my sister were in Hamedieh, and a guy gave my sister the finger in her butt, Ihsan we were both screaming at the guy and people were watching. People watch Ihsan, am sorry, but very few of them care!! And mostly they blame me for shouting!?
But I am glad that you've seen people care! That's a relief!
I agree with you on the KSA and Egypt thing, but I think I'll think about that distinction between Syrian and western girls.
3anjad guys are funny :D 3amletelkon azme el 20 cm? :D
hehehehehehehehe
hehehe
shifti 3ala hal shaghli?? :P
they'll never get the reall issue! it's always about them!!
offfff
oufff, your like the Syrian national response to sexual harassment.
this is why i believe that obligatory sexual intercourse service that Arab governments should implement soon, would help that amount of frustration among men and women starting from the age 18.
they should have called you when the testosterone of some asshole exploded in Egypt and they jumped for real on women in street. You would have knocked them out with this anger.
hehe
lazem y7ottoni safira!!!
oh and in Egypt, i think i would have committed a crime!!!
and i am not kidding!
:D
I am half syrian (and female) but grew up abroad and am "ajnabi-looking". Anyway, I was quiet shocked about all these posts. I thought it is exactly the other way round = harrassment in the West / sort of respect in Syria. Cause personally I was never harrassed (once.. a strange taxi driver who had visions about "western women".. that is what he saw in me. O.k. shit happens anywhere, I thought) - but mainly I encountered the opposite: friendly, helpful people, especially when I opened my mouth and spoke Syrian dialect.
But speaking about brutality: A friend, working at an NGO, send me a shocking Media Windows Player video, called "Syrian Class", in which 2 little boys in a class room with these blue uniforms HAVE to hit each other in front of the camera, there is an elder voice in the background commanding: "aqwa! aqwa!" ("Harder")!!!!!!????? My friend has no idea if it is a fake-video or what, nor do I. But is quiet shocking. If I only knew how to download things here - I have no url... cause it is so disturbing that I'd like to know if it has to be taken serious?!
That icident was an exception.
Just during the feast some rural fools got so horny when they saw the belly dancer DINA in the street.
I dont know why my syrian brothers over here are all competing to show the gentalmanliness of syrians and hormonal problems of Egyptians heeeeeeeeeeee
Speaking of gentalmanliness i will give an example:
Having quarelled with my girlfriend in Cairo at a restaurant, she rushed out crying, i ran after her to calm her down. she burst into tears and started yelling at me. People thought i was harrasing her.
A man flung himself at me, and two others tried to hold me. I yelled at her to tell them that we are friends. Actually she did and saved my ass!
The man turned out to be a jerk and tried to make friends with her. I punshed him. Eventually, the situation was turned upside down and everyone passing by in the street was beating up on him heeeeeee
The good thing is that my idiot ex-girlfriend forgot about why she had been crying.
Sham, you have to control your temper! Syria and consequantly the Arab world need you.
we dont want you to end up behind the bars for butchering and Egyptian or Syrian male chauvonist heeeeeee
:-(
والله يا مخلوئة مو موئفني عن الاستقالة والرجعة عسوريا حاليا إلا موضوع انو مافيني ارجع بلا سيارة .
الفكرة غير واردة بالمرة أني رد اركب بمكيرو ولا اركب بتكسي ولائي حدا عشوي حينط فوئي .
مع فائق احترامي للرجال في سوريا بس كس اختكون برجلي جميعا .
Hey Anonymous, sorry for replying late, been busy lately.
I am glad that you're experience in Syria is good, actually, this is exactly my point, that those who harass girls tend to do it with the natives not with foreigners, for foreigners KNOW that they have the right to defend themselves..my theory on the matter.
As for that video, it was quite shocking to us Syrian people, and many Syrian bloggers tackled the issue on their blogs but we have no idea f it was dealt with formally speaking.
Dear Amre, we are not my no means trying to show off on the expense of another Arab country, but what happened in Egypt is a troubling case. I would react on the matter if it happen anywhere and I would be harsher if it happened in my country.
Please be sure that our care for Arab countries motivates us to be critical :-)
Bashir, thank you for your sympathy :-)
No One, hahaha you make me laugh my friend, loven your words A LOT!!!!
Excellent post, Sham
In Syria I go into defensive walking mode. You walk hunched over, with your arms kind of covering your chest, always aware of who is walking behind you and ready to elbow anyone who tries to touch you. Its as if the streets are not our domain - like we are guests walking on male turf. Once we have stepped into their domain, we should expect any treatment they dish out. It doesnt matter if you're dressed conservatively or if you're walking with your father, they'll do their best to touch for even a second. Like they're going to get an orgasm from that??? Or maybe they are?
Girls;
I think you are overplaying the presence of street harassment in our streets...
I agree that there are guys who are opportunists by nature and would love to bump themselves into any body parts of a walking or standing female whenever they have a chance.
But I have a faith in the good moral standards of our public, that once a certain harassment act gets noticed, almost everyone around here would rush to stand by the victim...
See Sham why I advocate for segregated buses like in Iran?
Walla hal sha3b ma bilba2lo shi!
Now that I think of it, my worst esperience happened in Jordan. I went to a public WC, well, for nature's call, and then I heard some noise. When I looked up, I found a guy climbed to watch me through the partition and peel his carrot. I think he's still in shock from all my beating.
Meanwhile, in Poland I've been only looked at (!) once. In fact, it wasn't me that was looked at, but my Nikon ;)
Lujayn,
I know what you're saying completely, it is putting mask on your face, the tough and scary face to warn "them" not to come closer..but this very face is affecting your mood, your character – in- the –street. You are not you anymore, you need to be that character in order to protect yourself, yet it is not you.
DJ,
Who decides if it is "over" or not, the subject to such event or the object to such event?
How many girls have shared their experience under this post?
How many girls disagreed with the "overlapping" thingie?
None.. two have complained and both were men.
You cannot know, dear DJ..you can only assume :-)
This is not a matter of "there are guys"..this is a living thing in the Syrian streets..and to stop it, we need first to recognize it, and let those who experienced speak!!
Puppeteer, hehe..i understand for sure, but I think we need our schools to be integrated as that of Tartous, don't you think that would make a change?
In Poland?? Well that's a thing to fuck the west with it, but why should I care about them when I am here suffering!? ;-)
Sham,
I don't get it, why did you say that about the West? I mean it's the way us Nikonists acknowledge eachother: we see someone holding a Nikon SLR camera (preferrably), try to find out the make, then nod and smile to eachother. I don't see why curse Europe for that?
" Meanwhile, in Poland I've been only looked at (!) once. In fact, it wasn't me that was looked at, but my Nikon ;)"
I am sorry, I thought the event took place in Poland (Europe): you've been looked at by a SLR Nikon (maybe I didn't get the joke here :-)
Oh, what I mean is the only time someone looked at me in Poland was in fact not looking at myself, but rather admiring my camera. I have a Nikon SLR, I'll show it to you next time you visit. The reason he looked at my gear, aside from it being too damn cool, was that the guy looking held a cmera very much the same. You know, there is a whole community, ever growing, hopefully, of Nikon Cameras users. And the time I went to buy my cam in Romania, the vendor tried all ways to convince me to buy a different brand, but at the end my final line was: my former camera is a Nikon, I want now to go pro with a Nikon SLR. So he said, in acknowledgment and respect: ah! so you're a Nikonist!
nice story of Nikons..hehe
dear sham,
you are doign the right thing NOT to shut up. No gurl/woman should accept such behavior, and NO it's not right to just forget abt it and move on.
you SHOULD TALK, and REFUSE, and demand your right to walk, use public transport and live WITHOUT STUPID SEXUALLY-OPRESSED PIGS trying to feel you up.
It's awful that we have such a filth habit among our youth, but it is DISCUSTING to just accept it and do nothing about it.
A friend of mine from Egypt, is suffering from the same thing in Cairo, and just like you, she resfuses to accept such filth. She wants to start some sort of anti-harrassment movement and she's asking fellow females to share their stories and experiences. Maybe you'd like to give her a hand in the matter.
If you are interested, please contact me and i'll give you more details.
Sorry for the Arab-male-filth you and all our ladies are suffering from. And please don't let such animals gives you a wrong imprssion that all guys are pigs, there are descent ones out there, that is sth you can trust.
Take care and keep in touch
Failasouf, thank you for your support..
I am very much interested in your friend's movement, we could work together each at her country, we can launch a website and start from there..
I never thought of making an action of it, am really thrilled right now -I feel bad that I am home on Saturday night :D
So yeah, I'll email you soon..
And looks like I am not alone home tonight ;-)
That's shocking awful!!
People shouldn't blackout such issues anymore.
it's not a -masculine society- you can't even call it a society where females are treated like objects or properties. I feel so shameful of such behaviors. I'm not sure what to say but I'm sure that something must be done :\
Sham, thanks for the answer concerning the class-video. I think you are doing a great job with this post.
But I (sitting in Germany) would like to throw in a recent statistic on German and Turkish women in Germany: 40% of German and 49% of Turkish women have experienced brutal treatment from their husbands. So 40% and 49%. Conclusion of the study: The higher the economical dependence of a woman on a man the higher the risk that she is treated like a piece of meat...
If true this means that it is a socio-economical problem, in ALL societies. (Which doesn't make it easier)
Sham
Wow,,, 55 Comments? You have a record here ;P
I am not gonna comment on what you wrote, too obvious to comment on anyway...
As for Roudy,
I think he's got a point somewhere... I just can't see where..
RnD
Dear Sham,
This exactly is the point, you girls need to speak up .. I admit that such posts can help raise some awareness about the problem...I just don't want it to be highlighted as a morbid phenomenon...
Next time somebody brandishes a Nikon in my face, I am going to ask him/her to stick it where it fits...
hey sham,
here is my egyptian friend's blog: http://egylife.blogspot.com/
check it out. She seems very interested in working together in the project.
let me know what you think, waiting for you girl :)
hey sham,am failasoof's friend from cairo,please check my blog and u can email me anytime on sin.strawberry@googlemail.com.
looking forward to many discussions and work with u.take care
I have visited your Blog 2, 3 times and I liked.
I like the way how you transmit a message. Bravo.
I have added you in my Netvibes to follow your posts.
This is a brave blog
Well done
Nour, thank you for acknowledging the dangerousness on such social problem, I am getting uncomfortable with some Syrian guys' responses, am afraid.
Anonymous, the reason I am here in Beirut doing my MA and wishing all my girlfriends in Syria a good luck in their traditional understanding of life, is not to suck up for another man. My mother is the one who encouraged me, and my father, to be financially independent from my future husband. You are quite right and girls rarely aware of that, thanks to our patriarchal mothers!!
But I am pretty shocked at the percentage in Germany!!?
RnB, well I guess I touched a raw nerve, as Abu Fares put it,
I am waiting for your post about that Roudy.
DJ, the do you not "want" to highlight it as a "morbid" case or you do not "see" it as such?
Failasouf and Strawberry, we are going to kick some asses !!!
Téméraire V5.0, thank you dear, am afraid I cannot read French hence cannot get a word your saying on your blogs :D
Osaid Rasheed, thank you so much, your doing great work yourself, fellow Arab ;-)
Sham my friend, I meant to say that we don't need to portray the matter as a 'morbid phenomenon' as I don't think it is...
Regards
Well I think it's time for another question to poll ;-)
Dear Sham,
you may be right when you said that guys won't understand what you're talking about, but only to a certain extent.We are human beings and distinguish between good and bad.Sure, We guys can never be in your position to be able to experience what you went through or be able to imagine the psychological harm you're exposed to or your inner reaction when you find yourself in situations where you're victim of harrassment. I know how guys in my Arab country react at the sight of a pretty girl, a pretty woman or just a woman , pretty or not.I know there are locations in my country where men can behave and do behave rudely and cruelly towards women But what you described is so outrageous that I'm really astonished.It's true women do not always tell their stories as you courageously do.They do not complain for multiple reasons, But I wonder if our Arab world is not developping backward.I wonder whether religious extremism is not a necessity.I wonder if we do not deserve the calamities we are trapped in.
There's nothing else to add but sympathise and deplore such practices.
So strong woman. Beautifull soul.
All these "DID YOU KNOW" ...
Each of them
they speak.
Each time you refuse, you win.
thankx for sharing. even if it made me cry and rage.
atamanna laki hayatan salîda
Dear Dreamer, thank you so much for your sympathy and most importantly for acknoleging that only those who've been there understand what I mean.
But it is not about being there or not, it is about supporting who've been there, which is exactly what you presented in your comment. Thank you.
The best step ever is to organize. I am going to do something with an Egyptian lady and a Lebanese guy, hope we do something together.
Nina louVe, thank you dear, I appreciate your sincere words and warm support.
Winning does have another word, as you exactly said. I am quite content about my way of facing the issue.
You have a great life yourself, I am sorry I made you cry :-)
Don't be sorry that i cried, had to wash my eyes... (smilz)
googd for you dear :-)
i bet it feels good!
Dear Sham,
Just for the sake of being more specific, may suggest the following amendment to your poll?
"Do you think that sexual harassment in the streets of Damascus has reached the stage of becoming a morbid phenomenon?"
So you're saying that the act in itself is not morbid but the amount of it?? Or the placement of the act?
Your question assumes that people "already know" what's happening to ask about their judgment on the matter whether it is morbid or not.
I am saying, and as my post shows, you guys have no idea what's going on. This is a post that is trying to show exactly that it IS morbid. All girls agree, so why don't you?
Sham, Hope you are doing well, why the boycott is still on...I am quite on your baby Nasralla these days which I think was your problem.
Anyway enjoy reading my new post, oops you can't read it if you are in Syria
http://freesyria.wordpress.com/2007/04/04/assad-is-releasing-all-political-prisoners/
Haha
Fares, I was checking the posts that made me put you on my boycott list, I have too many posts in mind, I'll try to post my critique soon.
I've skimmed your new post, good to hear, yet I am not so thrilled about the American support to our internal policies, plus I am anti-negotiating Israel if Israel doesn't start negotiating with the Palestinians.
Thank you for dropping by.
Sham,
You are misunderstanding me once again ….
When I asked whether sexual harassment has reached a phenomenal level, I meant something like:
- Has it become a social epidemic??
- Would a tourist on a couple of days visit to Damascus notice an abnormal disposition of guys to harass girls??
- How much is the percentage of guys involved in such acts??
- What would be the reaction of the public upon witnessing such acts taking place in the streets??
A negative answer to all the above question will definitely mean we are having a ‘morbid’ phenomenon in hand…
I didn't misunderstand you once and not now dear DJ
you are simply worried about the quantity of the act while I am for the quality of it..
it is not about how "many times" had it been happening or not, is it or is it not a crime? is the question! The act in itself again. Not the amount of the act.
Second, if native guys, Syrians, did not notice "the amount" of such event, as several here have shown, why must we care about the tourists?
I don't know if you have read all comments above; girls are into denial to such situations. They do not talk or act upon the harassments. So saying that a phenomenon depends necessarily on public scenes, but if there is no public scenes, there is no phenomenon?? (Public scenes make people aware everyday of such happenings)
And again, if girls are acting silently to such acts, how would we know bout the Syrians' reactions??
The only cases that we know about is the cases that girls talk, and they are very few. So must we deal with it as a phenomenon or deal with it as an act in itself?
i wonder how can one take a judgment if she/he have no experience with it. Do i know how is it like to be under occupation?
Do i know how is it like to be in jail?
my judgment will simply lack credibility. those who are credible are those who simply "been there".
"We live in a society of victimization, where people are much more comfortable being victimized than actually standing up for themselves."
Marilyn Manson (1969 - )
I can go and pick other peoples' words but I think I'll stick with mine:
You just do not "want" to see it as I "stand to speak up" my friend..
You're telling me to "stand up," which I have already done so by posting this, yet you're telling "how much space" I got to stand up when you say: "...I just don't want it to be highlighted as a morbid phenomenon..."
So you got an idea "how" to be portrayed..
You have not experienced whatsoever on the whole matter and yet you trust that:
"we don't need to portray the matter as a 'morbid phenomenon' as I don't think it is"
You don't "think" it is..
So you don't "want" to see, and you don't "think" it is a morbid phenomenon.
Yet you speak of victimization.
Oh Dear!
You are such a tough fighter Sham!
See, we don't disagree on the principles, however, I just "think" that we should deal with each and every case as an isolated one...
And again, my quote was to corroborate your statement, not mine! I sincerely think that you girls should stand up to yourselves...
You don't need me to make the judgement on your behalf, you are smart enough and mature enough to make your own choices...
How? I really have no idea...
But blowing things out of proportion is not going to help ... you want to fight this 'phenomenon' , better fight within the social system , not fight the whole system.
When you (as an enlightened female member in this society) complain to me (as an average male member) about this, I would presume that you are accusing me of not doing enough to prevent it, such accusation I would totally refuse...
And mind you, this is an endless chain of hassle, next thing we know that couple of homos are demanding to be imparted public recognition and rights of conduct...
Or rape victims whining that their predators' verdicts are not tough enough, so that they can get an easy way out through immigration...
Or some women rights organizations middling between husbands and wives...
I am trying to make an analogy between these issues and yours Sham, I just know how things usually evolve in this part of the world....
A brotherly advice, don't get yourself caught up in 'yellow journalism' kind of disputes...
Heck! I wonder if anyone else is still following this thread!
Correction:
*I am NOT trying to make analogy.....
"A brotherly advice, don't get yourself caught up in 'yellow journalism' kind of disputes..."
A sisterly advice, don't preach!
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